Quotes on awakenings: early awareness and first experiences
Betty, born 1919
I knew at the age of 12 that I was a lesbian. I didn't know the word but everybody was getting interested in boys and I thought they were silly.
Charlotte, born 1930
Nobody ever said that I was a homosexual or a lesbian or said anything to my face. It was just real hurtful. Nobody talked about anything at home; they knew what was going on and everybody kept everything a damn secret.
Bev, born 1930
When I was maybe eleven or twelve, I began to notice that I wasn't starting to think of boys as my friends were. I was focusing on women and girls as objects of my affection. I knew that this had to be terribly wrong. I was very worried. And my one desire, if I just had enough money, was to talk to the doctor. He could fix what was broken.
Saundra, born 1937
One night, I was just sitting there by myself, watching people come and go. One time, she came in and said she had been out on a date with a man. She said, “Oh, I just can’t stand it. He wanted to paw me. I just can’t stand men anyway. I don’t know why I’m going out with him. As a matter of fact, I like women.” Well, we had never had that kind of conversation. I was a little taken aback by her remarks, but intrigued by them as well. I was maybe 19 or 20, and I was intrigued by what the ramifications of her remarks were, or could be.
One night, I was just sitting there by myself, watching people come and go. One time, she came in and said she had been out on a date with a man. She said, “Oh, I just can’t stand it. He wanted to paw me. I just can’t stand men anyway. I don’t know why I’m going out with him. As a matter of fact, I like women.” Well, we had never had that kind of conversation. I was a little taken aback by her remarks, but intrigued by them as well. I was maybe 19 or 20, and I was intrigued by what the ramifications of her remarks were, or could be.
Jess, born 1918
I don’t remember the exact circumstances, but I knew there was a women’s bar. I thought, “No way.” I hadn’t even known what a lesbian was. But I went. I crept into this bar. The end of the bar was close to the road, and I’d slide into a seat there. The rest of the bar was full of women, and I was scared to death somebody would say something to me. But I got friendly with the bartender, so that was a safe place. Nobody ever came and talked to me, or anything. I began to feel safe with them, and that was good.
I don’t remember the exact circumstances, but I knew there was a women’s bar. I thought, “No way.” I hadn’t even known what a lesbian was. But I went. I crept into this bar. The end of the bar was close to the road, and I’d slide into a seat there. The rest of the bar was full of women, and I was scared to death somebody would say something to me. But I got friendly with the bartender, so that was a safe place. Nobody ever came and talked to me, or anything. I began to feel safe with them, and that was good.
Anonymous, born 1934
When I was five years old, I lived in the back of this boarding house and I could scoot out of the house and nobody would know I was gone. I would get out and go up the block and across the street to the third house. If I got there early enough, the woman would put me in the bathtub with her daughter. And I would go for it. I don't know whether I was dirty or not. I probably was but that's beside the point! Oh man, I liked girls.
When I was five years old, I lived in the back of this boarding house and I could scoot out of the house and nobody would know I was gone. I would get out and go up the block and across the street to the third house. If I got there early enough, the woman would put me in the bathtub with her daughter. And I would go for it. I don't know whether I was dirty or not. I probably was but that's beside the point! Oh man, I liked girls.
Anonymous, born 1932
When you're eleven or twelve, you don't know that this isn't perfectly normal. You don't know there is anything different or unusual about liking girls.
When you're eleven or twelve, you don't know that this isn't perfectly normal. You don't know there is anything different or unusual about liking girls.
