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  • Insider Issue 48 all four pages
  • Home
    • About
    • Get Involved
    • What and How
    • About Interviews
    • About Support Documents
    • Archives
    • FAQs
  • Excerpts
    • Quotes >
      • Awakenings
      • Only Ones/Finding Others
      • Language
      • Closet and Coming Out
      • Military
      • Religion
      • This and That
      • Info and resources
      • Marriage and Kids
      • Seeking Help
      • On Loss
    • Voices
    • Profiles >
      • Annalee Stewart
      • Beverly Hickock
      • Jean Mountaingrove
      • Ocie Perry
      • Ruth Silver
      • Ethyl Bronson
      • Marie Mariano
      • Vera Martin
      • Betty Shoemaker
  • Products
    • Newsletter
    • Our Books
    • DVD Our Stories
    • Order
  • Contact
  • A Three Way Ask
  • What OLOHP Women Are Up To
    • Laura Bock
    • Gaye Adegbalola
    • Kathy Prezbindowski
    • Ann Bannon
    • Tret Fure
    • Ruth Debra
    • Lillian Faderman
    • JS&C&M&M
  • Insider Issue 48 all four pages

Quotes about marriage to men, and kids

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Arden, born 1931
I tried to engage in more traditional ways. One guy was in high school and one at the beginning of college. When I finally came to terms with who I was, the breakup was real, real difficult. I was trying to acknowledge my true self. What I had been trying to do – marry a man – was wrong. It was more that I didn't want to marry the guy. I was always uneasy. I could never stand for a boy to put his hands on me. I never wanted to sit in the backseat of a car and neck. I always got pissed if the boy thought I owed him something because I went on a date with him. That really upset me. Now, I know why.


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Dorothy, born 1917

I met this man that was very much attracted to me. He was in the Signal Corp, Fort Thomas, and he was from Wisconsin. I just figured he was the man I wanted to marry, 'cause everybody got married. Even though I was very much attracted to this one gal who was the best maid at my wedding when I got married.



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Betsy, born 1935

I became cheerleader, homecoming queen, finally married, and became a mother. Mind you, I have NO regrets of any of this. Someone asked me if I felt that I’d wasted the time. Absolutely not! I was in a good marriage—and especially--I have always loved being a mother. Those experiences make me who I am today.


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Gloria, born 1935
While dancing, I went from Chicago to Milwaukee, back to Detroit and...  I'm trying to remember how I got back home again! I finally did decide I needed to go back home and go back to school. So I went back to Ohio, to, Kent State. I was dancing weekends at supper clubs in the area and I met the man who later became my husband and the father to my son. Throughout all of this I was getting pressure from my mom. "When are you going to get married? When am I going to have grandchildren?"     Ya-da-da-da-da-da-da. I was fighting it, fighting my mother, but also not having a lot of success in my lesbian relationships.


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PJ, born 1939
I did get married one time to a gay man who was about eleven years older. It was after my first girlfriend had left. I was really down. I met him one night at a bowling alley. We were drinking.… I agreed to marry him. We were going to be straight. He didn't want to be gay. I don't think he wanted the stigma attached to being gay. We had been friends for maybe ten years, so we thought we could be straight. I wasn't doing it for cover and I don't think he was either. I was tired of being gay.… I just figured I could graduate from school, be a lesbian, and have a nice, normal life, and things would be okay. I got a divorce after about 2 1/2 years.



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Barbara, born 1934

By the time Nancy came along, he was toast, because all of a sudden, I knew what had been "wrong with me" for 20 years.



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Note sent to the OLOHP: What you have done is so important that I think even you don’t understand it. This will have a life of its own and be around way after we are gone. To have thought this up, seen the need, and assumed the effort to get it done is phenomenal. I really do salute you.
TF says: The women that the OLOHP has brought to us have lived remarkable lives, often solitary and private, and we are far richer for knowing these women, their struggles and their passion.
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