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  • Insider Issue 48 all four pages
  • Home
    • About
    • Get Involved
    • What and How
    • About Interviews
    • About Support Documents
    • Archives
    • FAQs
  • Excerpts
    • Quotes >
      • Awakenings
      • Only Ones/Finding Others
      • Language
      • Closet and Coming Out
      • Military
      • Religion
      • This and That
      • Info and resources
      • Marriage and Kids
      • Seeking Help
      • On Loss
    • Voices
    • Profiles >
      • Annalee Stewart
      • Beverly Hickock
      • Jean Mountaingrove
      • Ocie Perry
      • Ruth Silver
      • Ethyl Bronson
      • Marie Mariano
      • Vera Martin
      • Betty Shoemaker
  • Products
    • Newsletter
    • Our Books
    • DVD Our Stories
    • Order
  • Contact
  • A Three Way Ask
  • What OLOHP Women Are Up To
    • Laura Bock
    • Gaye Adegbalola
    • Kathy Prezbindowski
    • Ann Bannon
    • Tret Fure
    • Ruth Debra
    • Lillian Faderman
    • JS&C&M&M
  • Insider Issue 48 all four pages

Quotes on loss and grief

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Jean, born 1927

We had never held hands out in public. But before they put her in the ambulance I kissed her on the forehead and whispered that I loved her. It was the first ever show of affection, in front of an ambulance driver. I call that one of God's whispers.



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Bev, born 1919

I had some friends that I had known at work that I spent time with. But Cecile would get frantic if I wasn't home by dark. Then she died. You can imagine that after living with someone for 41 years, it is quite difficult.



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Marie, born 1921

The last three years, she was bedfast. The thing that bothered me the most with Sarah was the fact that she wanted to die to relieve me of the responsibility. And I had a terrible time with my friends, because when you've got friends who don't understand...



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Marie, born 1921
Ann was my first. Ann, to me, was the lady. But I know the way I started to treat her, you know, was like a boy. I put her coat on for her, I walked on her left, I opened the door for her, I treated her to all these things. I think Ann could've told me, "Jump in the lake," and I would've jumped. As we got older, she told me that she was just human, and I shouldn't set her on a pedestal. Ann graduated in nurse's training while I was still in high school. She joined the Army before Pearl Harbor, and she went to Fort Douglas, Utah. I really thought I’d been abandoned. That was the biggest hurt I could remember as a young person, Ann going off and leaving me.



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Arden, born 1931

I was so angry that I was 54, a widow and my life was over. Who the hell wants anything to do with a 54 year old woman? That's what society tells us to feel. Well, it doesn't have to be that way.



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Arden, born 1931

We had a good life. Like anyone who makes a life together — two women, two men, a man and a woman — it doesn't matter. There are good times and hard times. We had all that. Nothing is ever perfect. The good, for me, so far outweighs the rough stuff. We cared about one another. It was a very warm and gentle 33 years for me.



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Note sent to the OLOHP: What you have done is so important that I think even you don’t understand it. This will have a life of its own and be around way after we are gone. To have thought this up, seen the need, and assumed the effort to get it done is phenomenal. I really do salute you.
TF says: The women that the OLOHP has brought to us have lived remarkable lives, often solitary and private, and we are far richer for knowing these women, their struggles and their passion.
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